Heather T.

Archive for February, 2009|Monthly archive page

PPP-Fly Away

In PPP Prompts, PPS-Poetry-Prose-Stories I've Written on February 28, 2009 at 3:16 pm

Reaching into the air, the little bird leaped inside just wanting so much to follow his momma bird.

She returned a few minutes later with a juicy morsel for his hungry little belly, then she left again.

Each time she left, he’d reach with all of his might to follow her. Every time, gaining strength.

Each time she left, she’d return with another tasty morsel. Every time, encouraging his growth.

Again, momma bird flew away in search of another tasty morsel for her little bird. When she returned, she found the nest empty.

Above her, in the sky, was her little baby bird…soaring; no longer a baby, but as mighty as an airplane in all of his winged strength.

“Fly away, my mighty baby bird.Fly away.”

~ my contribution to Pictures, Poetry & Prose “Fly Away”

PPP-Poppies

In my mom, PPP Prompts, PPS-Poetry-Prose-Stories I've Written on February 28, 2009 at 2:48 pm
I do not believe there will ever be a day to come,
when a poppy does not smile at me and say…
“Your mother loved me, you know.”

~ that is true :o)

This is a photo that my mother had taken, once upon a time.

The words above are my contribution to the Pictures, Poetry & Prose prompting, titled “Poppies”.

Big Hugger/Proud Mom’s Loving Heart

In other bloggers on February 27, 2009 at 1:23 pm

This woman is compassionate, loving, nurturing, witty and much more outgoing that I am. She is able to express her passion easily and although she may find herself in uncomfortable situations sometimes, I admire her ability to stand her ground.

She only lives a few miles from me. I first met her at a local MOPS group. The setting was in a room full of mom’s and a speaker that was a local, well known, children’s Doctor. The mom’s were asking questions about their children. I was concerned with starting my son in kindergarten at four year’s of age. Soon after I asked my question, this woman’s voice came through the crowd and shared the same concern. From that day on, we became friends.

Our boys are very close to the same ages and share the same month’s as birthdays. She and I have similar qualities in our mothering and feelings of love.

She keeps up with news and the latest findings and recently shared her thoughts on her own blog. I’ve commented as well. I don’t keep up with everything. I am not as strong, as to sift out the drama forced upon us through the news. It stings. Somehow, though…I remain in tune. I know why, some of you know too. Thoughts enter my mind, and I pray. People talk about headlines, I hear it and I pray.

Sometimes I have no clue why there is a specific subject on my heart or why I feel so strongly about it, but in everything that creates this type of feeling…it leads me to God. He doesn’t allow for me to be out of the loop, apparently. I could share many, many testimonies of this but I’ll spare you for now :o). I will just say that there have been many times where a friend will come to mind out of the blue, for weeks and it will keep me in prayer for them; later I find that they’ve been going through serious health, family or personal issues…able to overcome. God keeps us connected, whether we really know what we’re doing or not. Yes! He does.

So…take a visit over to Proud Mom’s Blog today and read her thoughts on a few recent subjects in the news (Post titles: Odd Couples and Enabling My Sanity). I will say that the subject is mainly on the hype about same sex marriage. I don’t like touchy subjects but there are times when we need to share our thoughts. Although, I do believe that the union of marriage should be between a man and a woman; it is not my place to condemn people, point fingers or hurt another because of how they love…period. God doesn’t turn his back on the sinner, only on the sin and it’s been taken care of through our Saviour…for ALL of us. I’ve shared more of my thoughts with her in her comments section.

She always appreciates your kind thoughts and loving words of encouragement.

Beauty from India

In other bloggers on February 27, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Recently, I became aware of a new follower on my blogger background’s site; so, I took a little visit over to India the other day. I discovered another land of unknown territory to my eyes :o). I’ve not seen many pictures of India before, so I have found it quite refreshing as he shares his footsteps there with us.

At “In Search of a Greener Tomorrow“, you’ll find wonderful picture’s of this man’s homeland. Some of his photo’s pull you into a warm, peaceful place; a place to rest, reflect, pray and be calm. He also shares a bit of excitement with sky-filled jet adventures.

I believe that he is a fairly new blogger, so I thought I’d recognize him in a special posting and ask that you take a little visit to India today :o). I know that a few of you will appreciate his eye for nature, as I have.

Did you notice?

In Odd Me on February 26, 2009 at 1:37 pm

Blogger changed the followers gadget a little bit. When I peeked in at my page this morning, you all took up half of my page :o)…I still love you. Please forgive me, but I’ve moved you over to the sidebar again.

I do like the larger icons. I’m not truly understanding what the big change is yet, but I’ll figure it out eventually. In any case, I’ve revamped my page just a little. I think it is still pretty welcoming. What do you think? Any suggestions?

Paint-full days…

In Artsy Me, mural painting on February 25, 2009 at 9:08 pm

We’ve lived in our house for seven years now and I’ve wanted to do this since we moved in. Finally, Sunday night I decided to get busy and on Monday afternoon, I headed to the hardware store for some paint. I’m painting a mural on my boys walls and they have chosen what they want, with a little added guidance :o).

Recently, they’ve decided to all have their beds in the same room. It’s working out nicely and it gave me encouragement to get started this week, as they are on vacation. I put them to work yesterday morning and we all put on the base color (except Daddy, he had to work). The base is a sky blue color.

They did a really great job helping me out with this. I must say that with three beds, three boys and one mommy; the room seemed very small…but we managed really well AND didn’t wear too much blue paint :o).

(You’ve got to click on this picture to upsize it and take a look at his concentration face.)

At one point, I asked one of the boys to take pictures while I continued painting…I spared you the butt shots (don’t worry about the thank you…I wouldn’t have shared them anyway).

We were finished with the blue base within two hours. It took me much longer to paint the grass at the bottom of the wall and the great big tree but the boys were awesome while I did this, peeking in every so often to see what I had put up next.

When I finished the tree, I came downstairs and really opened my eyes. I had passed through the living room a few times throughout my painting, but was too busy to see the mess that they had made. The house was a wreck, not only from them but from me too. Too busy painting to care about the dishes and laundry, etc. Oh well, we all got busy and had it cleaned up within an hour.

Today, I began the opposite wall. The boys chose a mountainous scene with a waterfall and a castle at the top of the mountain. I’m posting what I have done as of right now.

Sammy took some really good shots of this, don’t you think? Every time he came back up to see the tree’s again, his eyes would widen. When you’re the one doing it, you don’t tend to see it for what it is until you walk away and come back again.

They’re getting pretty excited about it. This part will most likely take me a few days. We’ve got some things to do the rest of this week but I’ll manage to poke in a little paint here and there. It’s so much fun, almost therapeutic for me…it always has been. I also think about my mom a lot and talk to The Lord while I paint, probably why it’s like therapy :o).

The only downfall to the painting, is that I don’t find my way to the shower until later in the day. I don’t mind too much but I hope not to see any strangers at my door :o). I’ll post future accomplishments with the mural as they come about.

PPP-Once

In PPP Prompts, PPS-Poetry-Prose-Stories I've Written on February 25, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Pictures, Poetry & Prose had a photo today that I could look at continually, I think. It inspired me from the start, but I didn’t have time to write. It’s a good thing because what I ended up with when I did have the time, completely took me by surprise. You have to realize that I’m always amazed when these stories come out of me. I don’t have any idea things like this are in here…I don’t think about them at all. Really, I don’t. I just sit here, look at the picture for a minute and begin typing…boom, bang, there it is…a story.

The picture shows a sort of boggy setting with a gorgeous sky and an island. On the island is a beautiful home with welcoming landscape. It’s a very inviting setting. To me, it appears as though someone is looking at it from afar.

Okay…this is obviously fictional and not about me or anyone in my family but I began writing and it flowed…here is my contribution:

~ From the pages of my journal

I once saw her. She was in a small boat just on the edge of shore. I wasn’t sure what she was doing, so I took out my binoculars to see more closely. She had a frantic look upon her face, this young girl; it almost caused me to be noticed but who was I to go help her? This poor state that I’m in.

As I watched through my specs, I noticed she had a long pole. She quickly threw it into the water and bobbed it up and down so quickly. I don’t know how she could have caught anything, if she was fishing but suddenly she pulled up this large sack. The anticipation overwhelmed me as I watched her hurry to open it up. The sack was moving, poking and bouncing. I saw her smile with delight as she opened it up and reached in. She pulled out a puppy. The sack tumbled over into the boat and out came three more puppies, all bouncing and licking at her face.

She turned, fiercely looking around, as if she was checking to see if anyone had been watching her. Maybe she sensed my presence.

I wondered what she was going to do with four puppies and how she’d known that they were in there. Then I saw him; a burly man with a scowl on his face. He was in the bushes. I wouldn’t have noticed him there, other than I saw the tree’s moving about and it caught my attention. I could see that he was angry and that he had no purpose to turn away from her rescue.

I realized that it was up to me. I had to be noticed, even with the chances of going back; I couldn’t allow myself to watch him attack her. She was young, sweet and precious. She obviously has a good heart and I, too, have always been such a fool for puppies.

Leaving my belongings behind me, I jumped into the water and swam as quickly as I could while keeping an eye on that man. I was thinking that he may have even been setting her up, reeling her in for his own purposes; this created a burning anger inside of me. My adrenaline was pumping so hard that I think I must have looked like a speed boat gliding through that water.

As I got closer, I saw him come stomping from the bushes toward her. She’d just reached shore with the puppies. I could hear him yelling, and she scurried quickly up the side hill with the heavy sack. He was too big to catch up to her, but she was too little and not strong enough to carry her self and the sack up that hill for long. I had to reach her. I was out of breathe by the time I reached shore.

My presence made the burly man take notice. He no longer was alone and must have thought twice about his attack. He quickly turned and ran for the boat, drifting away off out of my sight.

The little girl stopped and turned. I had hoped that all of the excitement would have been a lesson for all, without having been noticed but it didn’t happen that way. She saw me. I tried to hide my face from her but it didn’t matter, she recognized me right away. “Uncle!!!” she said. “Oh, my Uncle, where have you come from? How did you get here? I’ve missed you so…”

I’m writing this from my jail cell. Yes, I was caught. I neglected to say where I came from, why I was there and the history of my life for a reason. I didn’t want to turn out the “bad guy” in this story; for fear of what you’d think of me. Shortly after she saw me and we reminisced a little, her mother came running from the house looking for her. She allowed me in to stay the night. She – being my sister. She cleaned my clothing and fed me a good meal. Just after we finished eating, there was a knock at the door. It was the Police. Someone had been watching over them and saw the same man that I had seen. Unfortunately, they also saw me. The police took notice of me and knew immediately who I was. I had no choice but to return with them.

You see, years ago, I robbed a bank. They knew that it was me because there were witnesses. They never found the money though and I wouldn’t tell them where it was.

My sister needed a home. She needed a safe place to raise her little girl. No one knew then that she was pregnant, and at that time they wouldn’t have cared. They had no use for a woman with child, without a husband. The man she loved left her quickly when she told him. She was alone, with no money and barely of age. What could I do? I loved my sister, but I couldn’t make ends meet for myself. I had no family of my own to care for, no children; so I took the risk of making life better for her and, possibly, for myself. I wanted her to be the mother that I knew she could be, without fear of what people might think.

My best friend took the money. He always loved my sister. I knew that he’d take care of her, I trusted him. He did take care of her. He purchased this land, set the beautiful house on it and she’s lived in this safe place for years. The little girl is my niece. They’ve both been faithful visiting me here, which is why she knew me so well.

I had never had the opportunity to see her home, to see them living in the beauty and in the comfort of this place. I had to see. That day that I watched from afar, that could have been the day to my freedom. I was preparing to go to another country, to change my name but I had to see her home first. I wanted to catch a glimpse of their happiness, hoping to see them outside.

I had been on probation. Yes, I took a chance out of my boundaries in going there but just think what might have happened in that moment if I hadn’t been there. I suppose it was a foolish thought of my own anyway, to think that I should run when I only had so little time left and I was already out. Now, here I sit in this cell room once again. I’ve made a commitment that has changed my life forever, but that I will share with you another day. Now, my hand is aching from writing all of this.

(Some day, my dear sweet niece, you will understand better why I am unable to be there and watch you grow. I love you.)

~ Reginald John Doe

Caring enough to say so…

In My Faith, Questions Answered on February 25, 2009 at 11:35 am

Something has been on my heart for a little while now and after a few recent postings that I’ve read, about life and death, I’ve felt a great desire to write this.

I understand that we all have our own time frame in life of finding God and believing as we will. I also understand that God will allow us our own time and free will. I have come to really appreciate and love my dearest blogger’s and friends. I know that a few of you have been placed in my life for a reason and the reason is beyond our understanding, I’m sure. I feel that in this short time that I’ve come to know you (even just the little bit), you’ve touched my heart multiple times.

I was thinking about one of you in particular one day and how sad I would be if something happened to you. I wouldn’t know. Who am I? Why would anyone bother to tell me? I shared these thoughts with my husband because I just had to speak it out. I told him how fond I’ve become of some of you, as family. You’ve made an impact on my life and set a place in my heart. If your life ends before mine, there would be a missing piece and I would mourn the loss. Really, I would. Think about that as you read this. I know that some of you have the same feelings as I do about this.

Now, with that said…I also know that there is very little chance for some of us, that our physical lives would ever meet face to face here. I also know that there will come a day when one of us leaves this earth before the others. Along with that thought, I become a little anxious to know whether I will have the opportunity to meet up with you in Heaven one day.

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I am a big hugger. It’s important to me; a sharing of love and appreciation that I have to give. I know that not all people are hugger’s, but I am. Sometimes, I desperately just want to give you a great big hug because I so appreciate you. I want you to know that there is not a doubt in my heart, mind and soul of our ability to greet those who’ve touched our lives when we’re in Heaven. If I’m there before you, you can count on the fact that I will greet you with a great big hug when it’s your turn.

Now, will you please tell me that I will find you there? I wouldn’t want to have had an opportunity to ask you and not have done so. Some of you, I have no idea if you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour. If you feel a tug at your heart right now and have never asked His Spirit into your life, will you please ask Him right now? I want the assurance of getting that hug from you and meeting up with you some day.

Of course, there’s so much more involved in accepting Christ than just meeting up with little ole’ me in Heaven some day :o); this is just like a little added sugar in your coffee. God will transform you from the inside out, peace will fill your heart and enable you to grow in your relationship with God. The sooner you ask Him, the more you’ll be able to see His Goodness in your life.

People lay out specific words for prayer because we don’t always know how to pray, especially if you’ve never talked to God before BUT it isn’t the fancy words that matter to Him, it’s the desire in your heart. He knows what you need before You ever open up your mouth. He hears that need and can begin working, when you are ready to open up to Him :o). If you doubt that, then you can prepare your heart and ask Him in this way:

Dear God, I know that I’ve been living on my own, without You for a long time. I realize the need for You in my life, right now. I’m ready to open my heart to You. Come within me and change my life. I come to you through the Resurrection power of Your Son, Jesus Christ and I ask that you forgive me from my rebellious ways. Keep me from You no longer. Fill me with Your Spirit and guide me from this moment on. May I see and feel this transformation take place right now and in every day to come. Open my eyes, Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen.

Now, please tell me. You can send me an email at htfrogblog@gmail.com or let me know here. My heart will be happy dancing to hear that you know Him or have just begun to :o).

Saturday, King Luey Sleeps

In mothering, My Boy #3, My Family on February 24, 2009 at 11:04 pm
After the basketball game on Saturday, we went searching for Lucien’s new “big boy” bed; one to call all his very own, a brand spanking new one. We also went to find some special sheets and a new blankey just for him (he had claimed his oldest brother’s blanket until now…it’s so soft; we found one of the same type but a different color). It was a pretty special event having him pick out his very own sheets and blanket. What did he choose for sheets? Well, nothing less than golden satin ones. What a kid! As we stood at the counter to pay for them, he looked up at the cashier (a very sweet and kind teenage girl) and he said, “These are for me. I’m getting my own brand new bed today.” He said it shyly with big brown eyes looking up at her.
Later on that night, he fell asleep in his bed early; all by himself. He was tuckered, not having a nap at all that day. Of course, mommy grabbed the camera for his first night in his new bed. Later, as I looked at the pictures; I was reminded of the wall hanging just above his head. My mom made this for the boys to have on their wall.

It reads:

They are angels of God in disguise
His sunlight still sleeps in their tresses
His Glory still shines in their eyes
Yes, King Luey absolutely loves his brand new big boy bed with the golden shiny satin sheets and his soft fuzzy blankey….and mommy absolutely loves King Luey.

Lifting up Karla

In Life Lessons, my mom on February 24, 2009 at 12:04 pm

I was excited to see that Karla Dornacher updated on her blog this morning. It has been awhile, yet I was aware that she was working on a new book. I tip-toed over to her site and began reading; her book is off to the publisher (yay).

As I read her words, I found that in the time frame of completing her book, the completion date was moved up two weeks in her previous post; which meant a bit of crunching, I’m sure. In this post; however, she wrote of losing her mother on February 5th. That was just a few weeks ago.

I recall in those weeks (Released from The Coccoon, In Perfect Honor, For My Mom, etc.) just after my mother went to her Heavenly Home, the real grieving emotions were set on a shelf for me because there was so much to think about and to get done. I didn’t place the emotions there, they just were. I cried, laughed, reminisced, set up dates, offered consoling to others and be-bopped through the grief pretty well as you can read in the posts that I wrote at the time. So many well meaning people told me that there would be a five step formula, a process to grieving. I’m not a formula person. I tend to do everything in life a bit differently than others.

I was talking to my friend yesterday about my feelings and all that I’m learning about myself. I shared how I felt that God’s Grace swept me through those early months of grieving, basically allowing me to get what needed to be done, done. She said, yeah…but that’s the shock that they talk about. Shock to me is the feeling I get when I’m stunned by something, when I ‘m caught by surprise; not by something I know is going to happen and that I believe I am fully prepared for. I didn’t experience “shock”. Then she continued to explain this word “shock” to me as being the lack of emotion we show or have at the time. “OH!”

One of the other effects is anger, so they say. One who has lost often gets angry that the person is no longer here. Angry at who? Well, God and the person who has left them behind. Angry at the disease or the reason that their life was over. Well, I can’t say that I got angry. I knew full well of everything that was happening. Then I looked back over the time frame of my mother’s life and realized that I may have been a bit angry at her for not having taken care of herself in the first place, when she knew that first lump appeared. She knew for years, almost six years that she was living with breast cancer and never stepped foot into a Doctor’s office because of it. Yet, by the time that she went to the hospital the first time, I wasn’t angry anymore.

The process of grieving for me began way back before any thought of my mother’s death could have been a reality. When I knew inside myself that she had breast cancer, that’s when I began grieving. I knew before my dad even knew, not that it was a confirmed thought but something inside of me knew. My life took me in directions that should have been a witness for my mother to go to the Doctor. I had breast issues myself, went through all of the tests and she took care of my boys, observing. I was perfectly healthy, she was not. We had talks about what I would do if this or that, she never commented on her own what if’s. I often tried to lead a conversation in that direction and she’d turn it around to head the other way. I began to know that I just needed to let her make her own choices and remain faithful to her, regardless :o). I stopped being angry then.

This post is getting long. I should finish up and stop talking about myself now. I only began it to share thoughtful words and a request to lift Karla up as she finds life winding down now, without her mother.

As I said, the first months didn’t seem terribly difficult after losing my mom. My processing of her being gone comes in waves, which is also a common factor of the formula for grieving. One thing that I have found to be absolutely sure of in all women who’ve lost their mother is a realization of who they are; it is a process of discovering and even though it can be weak in some moments, it can be refreshingly strength building in other moments. I praise God for the life that I’ve lived, the memories that I have, for the mother that birthed me and cared for me all of my life with her. I praise Him for His Grace that carried me through those months while I watched her drift away from us and I praise Him because He continues to lift me up.

It is good to mourn and good to smile while we’re doing it. I can smile because God is holding me in every possible way.

Please lift Karla up with me right now:

Father, Thank You for blessing our lives with such a warm and thoughtful artist, as Karla is. We lift her up to You now and believe that You will comfort her when she’s in need. We believe that You will fill her with Your Spirit and guide her through discovering the loss of her mother. Fill her thoughts with wonderful memories to inspire her creative self. Enable her with new insights of life, love and her relationship with You. Bless her heart like only You can. In Jesus Name, Amen!