Heather T.

Archive for April, 2008|Monthly archive page

For the love of bussing.

In Bus Rides, Myspace Posts 2008 on April 16, 2008 at 3:32 pm

On my way home from getting the bus checked out this morning, I saw a mom with her little girl wanting to cross Route 7. Cars were driving right by them, everyone is in such a hurry all of the time.
I wasn’t in any rush so I chose to stop traffic, hoping that the car on the other side would stop as well and they did.
The mom and the little girl began walking across the road. As they walked they were talking and looked over at the bus…I just smiled. The mom smiled back at me and continued talking to the little girl but the little girl just kept watching me.
I smiled at her and when I did, she grinned from ear to ear and gave me a great big wave. Of course, I waved back at her. She waved at me a few more times as she continued to cross.
That was a moment for me. Think back when you were a little kid, before school (if you can remember). Did you ever wave at cars going by, just to see if the people would wave back at you? How about receiving a smile or a wave from someone of importance, like someone you admired? I know that a lot of people would look down on bus driving as an occupation but go ahead and live your life in corporate ignorance…because there is nothing more rewarding than making a child feel special.
I know that God lead me to this occupation for many reasons, and I love the rewards for following His lead. Life is not about how much money you can make or what kind of label you have. It’s about giving and receiving love, in whatever you do.

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Do some people aggravate you?

In Uncategorized on April 15, 2008 at 3:32 pm

I had to share a bit of knowledge with you. I’ve told you before that I worked for the same company for almost 15 years. The first five of those years were like full of major growth for me. I began working there when I was 19 yrs. old, one year out of high school and ended around 3 yrs. ago (33ish).
The place where I worked was a salvage yard that was owned by a husband and wife, but they didn’t get along well and it proved to be a very exhausting place to work…for everyone. I had a good relationship with my boss, unlike others – only because I was able to know exactly what he needed accomplished without him having to explain anything. This guy was a bit eccentric and overbearing (an odd ball) – but he was very likeable and treated me like a daughter.
Working there – there were all sorts of characters. You have to understand – this was a salvage yard and my boss often hired misfits, the kind that couldn’t work with other people but nearly all of them were good hearted people….just very rough sorts. The majority of them were not “public” relations types.
The salvage yard was second nature to me, really. I grew up with my daddy being a mechanic. I was brought up as a mechanic’s daughter, loving cars and wanting to work on my own when I could. I love the smell of tires, oil and grease. Strangely, to me, it’s like a nice scented cologne on a man. I know I’m weird. Not to mention, the town that I lived in was known for “motor-heads”. It’s just a big part of who I am, I suppose. Maybe that’s why I love driving the bus so much.
Anyway, I was use to the characters that I worked with for those years and never was really offended or affected by the guys. We had disagreements, but guys are guys…most get over things pretty quickly. They always enjoyed getting me worked up and picking…but to a man, the reaction they get from doing that is like a compliment would be for a woman. Guy’s get pumped up when they can get a rise out of us.
My biggest difficulty there was managing to get along with the boss’s wife. She was terribly jealous and didn’t want any other females working in that place. She was a “religious” Christian at that time…playing mostly by what she was taught and strictly about what the Bible says in specific areas. Do you know anyone like that? Anyway, it was because of this woman that I opened my own Bible and began reading. I had to understand better….because all that I knew about God was not at all what she knew.
After awhile, as I deepened my relationship with The Lord, He showed me that in order for her to understand His truth’s and for us to get along…I would have to pray for my heart to change.
You see…when someone is truly trying to bring us down or aggravate us, or even when they are just living life without a thought of how it’s affecting anyone else – in order for them to change, we need to change our attitude toward them. I began praying that God would change my heart, my thinking toward her and let me see in her what He saw. I know that He loves all of us – He brought us into this world for a reason….to come to Him and be His own….He loves all of us….ALL OF US! We are all made differently – we aren’t suppose to be the same. We’re all the many character of God in seperate beings. Like our body – there are many parts but they all work together, they’re all formed into one being…one body.
Over the course of a year, The Lord changed my heart and did open my eyes to her. He also changed her, showing her His truth and His Love so clearly. She began attending a different Church that taught grace and mercy, love and truth…not unrealistic living. We prayed together and our relationship totally changed, she became a friend and I was able to understand her more.
I have to say that working there for so many years, with so many different people brought me sooo much knowledge and deepened my relationship with The Lord. It was actually the place that began my close walk with Him. I haven’t talked with anyone there in about two years….and now that I’m writing, I think it’s time to pay them a visit….just to say hi.
Please, never underestimate the power of God and His ability to change our way of thinking. He desires for us to love, more than anything else…really LOVE. The kind of love that a child has for the parent…the kind that holds no grudge and only desires the good for everyone.
I heard something on the radio one day that was pretty much said like this:
People in the world live like selfish children, saying “me first”. Like in the grocery line…”me first”. At a stop light…”me first”. Waiting in line at the bank…”me first”. You see it everywhere…at work, at home, in schools (of course). I see it with my boys all of the time and have no clue how to keep up with them, to teach them that’s not the way to live (I’m praying it’ll sink in).
It went on to say that if everyone would change that way of thinking, to “you first”, it would totally rework this world. Wouldn’t it though? If everyone said…”you first”, we would all be blessed by everyone. We would receive what was good for us and what we wanted without being crabby and ugly trying to get it. WOW!! What a good message. I know that we can’t get everyone in the world to live this way but I have to tell you that when you have that kind of attitude toward people, you will be blessed. Your heart changes and you’re able to find joy in living out “you first”, much more than being aggravated by the lifestyle of “me first”.
As with my boys, I know that I’m not able to change their way of thinking on my own….they have to want to change it and then make the effort to change. Same is with The Lord…He won’t change our hearts unless we ask and then make an effort. It’s so worth the effort though…. so worth it!

Star Wars makes a Princess out of me

In mothering, My Boy #3 on April 6, 2008 at 12:21 pm

This will probably make you laugh a little. Most of you would probably guess that I wasn’t the little girl that dreamed of being a princess, right? Tell me, though, what kind of little girl do you think I was? What did I play as a child and what were my dreams?

I’ll tell you. I was the little girl that loved animals and green grass. I liked playing in mud and running around outside barefoot. Swimming and sunshine were my best friends in the summer. Snow and sliding were the best in the winter. I liked playing in the fall leaves, raking and making scarecrows. I loved being a kid. I played with my stuffed animals and ran around outside. My parents and my grandparents, my brother and my friends were very important to me.

Some may have called me a princess when I was young, only because I was a happy – easy to please type of girl.

In all reality….I’ve never felt much like a princess. I’m not the “princess-y” type of girl, really – but I’ve learned something new about myself after watching Star Wars with my boys the other night.

I never thought I’d melt after hearing someone call me a princess. After the movie was over, my little man came up to me and hugged me really tight. He looked me in the eye and said quite boldly, “I love you my princess.”

When I was little, I never dreamed of being a princess or even desired that role. During playtime, I was always a mom or a teacher, or even a caretaker to animals….but never a princess.

You know what’s even sweeter…he’s my little prince. When the other boys and even Daddy, try to steal his princess away – he socks them good. No one is going to take his princess away. I’m enjoying every minute of this role while it lasts, because I know that this is the little man that tells me….”Mom, you hugga me too much!” and he’s also said that he doesn’t like my kisses.

For him to say that I’m his princess totally makes my heart melt. I love it! I don’t care if he’s been watching a movie and is reinacting it out…I’m his princess.

Of course, I’m the kind of princess that caters to him and the other men in the house. The kind that wears blue jeans and sweatshirts and put’s her hair up in a pony tail. I’m the kind of princess that drinks a beer or a good glass of wine now and then and enjoys watching Nascar. I’m not the fancy tea and properly put utensils kind of girl. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with it. Believe me, my mom tried to sway me in learning those things (fancy tea parties, lacey dresses, etc.). She wanted to share all of what a little girl is with me, and she still enjoys who I am (fancy or not). But still, in this house full of men, I would be priveledged to be their princess.

Being a princess in this house is quite special. To me, it means that they all recognize that I’m still a girl – in need of a little special treatment now and then. From these men of mine, my favorite things will always be big loving hugs, a well meant kiss, thoughtful words and a heart to help me every so often. So, in that sense – call me “Princess”.

(On another note….I am truly thankful that as a Daughter of The King, I am a Spiritual Princess for eternity . )

Where did the sunshine go?

In Inspirations, Myspace Posts 2008 on April 4, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Ooooooh this weather. Right now it’s plopping some kind of swishy cold plops from the sky. Like my words there? I won’t let that get me down though…for me, it makes me feel like snuggling up with a big blanky on my big couch and resting. Well, that’s also probably because I have some sort of something going on with my sinuses right now. It’s probably a head cold…I can’t tell anymore whether I suffer from allergies or colds. It sure seems like it’s the same time every year that I’m affected. blablabla

Anyway…sorry for that bit of useless knowledge about me. Would you like to hear a little more? If not, then get out of my blog area because I’m going to share it anyway (haha).

People seem surprised by me a lot. I don’t know if it’s because they have a mind set of what a Christian is suppose to be or maybe it’s because they just don’t understand that we are all in need of God’s Grace.

I realize that I go overboard sometimes with the reality of who I am, but there are times when I don’t share as much of myself too. I realized when I first heard the truth of my mom’s current status that I don’t show my sad side very often. It’s easy for me to be vulnerable in my klutziness, flighty times and overall funny nature. Hey, I was made this way and I’m going to be me. If I don’t get things as quickly as the rest…so be it. I’ve learned that God uses my ignorance to His Glory, so it’s all good to Him.

But, when I’m truly sad inside or really angry, others don’t see that much. I know that it’s because when I feel this way, I don’t look for people to make me feel better. I am the kind of person that needs to spend time alone with The Lord and be comforted by Him. I’m not saying that I want all of you, my friends, to leave me alone either. You who know me well, do really understand that I will talk when I’m ready…don’t you?

One thing that I learned a long time ago and it still pops up in knowledgeable moments here and there is that if we keep from sharing our needs with others, we’re also keeping them from the ability to bless us.

It’s like this:

Year’s ago, we were having trouble because my two older boys (not so older then) wanted to crawl in bed with us often. Our bed was only a double. Well, I’d do what I could and manage but I was getting very little rest in those days. I prayed that The Lord would help me figure it all out. So, one morning I was determined to go buy a king size bed. We couldn’t’t fit a queen through our stair way…has to be a king. I prayed that morning, with the determination that it was going to happen. We didn’t have the money to buy a bed…but they have those super deals ya know (buy now, pay later – don’t do it). Well, after I pray with questions, I wait quietly for answers. This answer did not delay for a minute. The Lord gave me a verse in scripture. He answers me this way very, very often…nearly always. I have no idea of the answer until I look it up, either. Well, that morning…I felt I already knew that the answer was no, but I looked it up anyway. Do you know what it said? It said…Do NOT reap beyond your harvest!

Can you imagine that? How do you think I felt at that point. I’ll tell you, I didn’t like that answer one bit…but I knew that it was for my best (discipline is rough). So, I told Him (God) that He needed to take that impulsive desire away from me in order for me to tell myself no. That’s hard, isn’t it?….telling ourselves no. I think it’s easier to have someone else make the answer a “no” sometimes. So, I continued my talk with God and headed up the stairs. As I hit the middle of the stairs, I felt like peace just washed all over me. It was done! I knew at that moment that The Lord would enable me to figure out what I needed to do.

I don’t recall how the boys managed sleeping in their beds, but they did within a few weeks. What I do know…six months later, after we were all sleeping well in our own beds at night – I got a phone call. We were eating dinner and the phone rang. It was my Aunt and she was calling to ask me, before they just got rid of it…if we would want their king size bed!! Do you know what I did? I cried like a baby as I shared with her all of what I just shared with you.

My Aunt told me that they were getting a new bed and that they really didn’t want to sell it. They wanted to share with someone that would appreciate it…someone that needed it.

If I had been a disobedient brat and gone to buy the bed before, I would have made a mess of everything. I would have also kept my Aunt & Uncle from the blessing of sharing this gift with us. They have done this many times through the years, and everything that they share is like brand new.

Now, I’ve forgotten why I started writing in the first place…let me go back so I can relieve you of reading….Oh yeah…

So, a little recap: When you’re in need, tell God first – then don’t be afraid to share with those who love you most. It doesn’t matter what the need is…if the only thing that they can do is pray for you, realize that is the most important. In all things, prayer connects us to God…together – nothing else touches us in the same way.

That weekend that I was so sad about my mom….I reached out and many of you were praying for me. You know what…those prayers combined were sooo powerful! I felt like a different person on Monday morning.

So…I suppose I should go do something now. My little man is beginning to wake up and we need to grab a bite before our afternoon run.

Until next time, I hope that the sun will shine in your heart and through your window!

Visits with Grandma

In my mom on April 2, 2008 at 12:25 pm

Thought I’d update on my mom, for those who may be interested. Lucien and I went for a visit this morning. Mom goes for chemo. on Tuesdays and usually the next day is a bit trying for her. She doesn’t get ill from the chemo., actually her reaction has always been a little mild but she does get tired and a bit of warm flush-ness in her face.

She’s actually a very strong lady, my mother. In the four years that she’s been on and off of chemo. & radiation – she’s been full of life and able to conquer. Even in this stage that she’s in now, she’s a pretty tough little lady. In truth, the strength and ability that she has in fighting this cancer comes from The Lord. His Grace is truly Amazing and it’s as though she’s living these years with a bubble around her. Even her Doctor’s and Nurse’s are amazed by her life.

You know, she’s grabbed her oxygen tank and went shopping a few times? She walks slowly, breathes roughly but is determined to go shopping (that’s one of her favorite things to do).

So, today – she was tired and tried calling me before I came down to tell me it would be okay if I stayed home. I had already left the house and I’m glad for that because she needed us to visit. We brought a box full of paper craft stuff and just the sight of Lucien’s big brown eyes perked her up when we got there. We had some really good social time too. I love that woman. She see’s me differently than I see myself and I suppose I gain strength from that.

She cracked me up the other day when she said that I was always such a brave child and that she still see’s me as brave. Ha! Brave, not so much but I suppose what she see’s in me is the confidence I have to remain myself, no matter what the world tries to make of me. I’m in the process of learning something that will be a strength for me and I hope to pass it on to others, especially my children.

If each of us knew what gifts and talents The Lord made within us and we all focused on living those out, without comparing ourselves to one another – I do believe that we could live in this world in harmony and follow our Creator without the ugliness and with so much less stress. Of course, there would still be disease and disaster – because after all this is still earth. But, until we leave this earth – wouldn’t it be nice if everyone could just understand what living in love is all about? I know that it’s unrealistic to get everyone on the same page. If God hasn’t done it, why would I think I’d be able to….really?

I just find it difficult to watch so many people struggling with life and wondering what that missing piece is that is keeping them from being content…on the inside. It amazes me how easy it is to come to The Lord and to be filled up by Him….and that so many people won’t. Is that pride? Is it fear? I don’t know.

I know that there was a time when I saw Christians as “fluffy go happy” people…when I was a cynical teenager. Guess what? I’m a “fluffy go happy” people now and I wouldn’t go back to those cynical teenage years for anything. You know…those years when you think you know all you need to know and you actually know “not so much”. Hahaha.

Isn’t it funny how I can begin writing about my mom and totally change the whole subject? Oh well. Hope you can relate and if not…maybe you need to.

I am so odd about some things!

In Myspace Posts 2008, Odd Me on April 1, 2008 at 3:26 pm

I am odd, aren’t I? That’s okay – you can be honest, because I enjoy being me (for the most part). When I say odd, I mean that there are little things about me that others just don’t understand. But…I do believe that each little odd part of me, is available to be seen in someone else out there in the world.

Like phones and making phone calls. I really DO NOT enjoy calling people on the phone. I will answer the phone when someone calls me, but to take the time to call someone just to chat on the phone…that doesn’t happen very often. The only one that really gets that from me at this point in my life is my mom. Even my bestest sister-friend doesn’t get a call too often…I’m trying to learn how. Thankfully, those who love me understand that I don’t love them any less – I just don’t like the phone much. You know what’s even funnier…I lived on the phone when I was a teenager. I suppose I get enough socializing in on the outside that I don’t feel I need it in my house. I don’t know.

I love to encourage people, make them laugh and smile. I also enjoy touching hearts in a way that brings appreciation for life – your life. I don’t do this because I want to be noticed, I do it because I want you to know that you’re loved…yes by me, but mostly by The One that created you. I love sending notes, cards, happy thoughts and pictures to people at random. I think that’s probably why I enjoy myspace so much.

This is a really odd thing about me. I have no trouble at all driving a bus full of bouncy, loud and happy children, but when my own child is demanding my attention and I’m trying to concentrate on the completion of a task…I don’t respond so well. I’m not great at getting interupted. I don’t have a divine ability to tune out those around me. When I try to, I hear every little “mommy” and feel every little poke to the point that when I do respond…I burst out “WHAT!” What’s that about? I love kids and I love my own the most. I have always been a person that kids are automatically drawn to and I even find some following me around when they’re able. It’s too funny. Even my own kids love being around me…constantly, to the point that I’m not as friendly as I would want to be. But, they still insist. How is that?

Another thing…this goes along with the last one. HA! I am not the kind of person that wants to go away for a weekend or on a vacation without my children. There are times when “running” is a tempting thought (haha) but in all reality, I have no desire to go away for a period of time without them. I suppose that it’s because I truly understand that every moment I am able to spend with them (good or bad) is one that I won’t get again. They are only little for a short period of time and I want to spend good time with them. I don’t want to miss putting them to bed at night…saying goodnight to them or waking up to them in the morning. Oh..yes they are allowed to spend night’s away from me if they desire to, but that is their choice. See, I’m okay with that. Go figure!

Another odd thing is the ability to write the way that I do and not be able to speak it. I know a lot of people who wouldn’t believe that I wrote some of the things that I have because I appear so flighty to them. Oh, yes…I am flighty – but in a fun way. I may not be a scholar – but I don’t need to be. I may not be college graduate – but I didn’t need to be that either. Do you know what I do need to be? I need to be following Jesus! That is what I have in my heart most to be successful at. For me, being successful in life is not about how much money you make. It’s not about how good you look or the job you have. For me, it all begins with walking in love, giving and receiving forgiveness and knowing Jesus personally. The only scholar I desire to be is one that has God’s Words in my heart.

Ooooh-oooooh, one more thing before I go that people may think is odd about me: I find joy in the simplest things! Like my little giraffe as my profile picture…it makes me giggle! I told my hubby…”that’s the way I feel most of the time.” He asked me what I was talking about and I told him to look at that giraffe. He laughed because he does know me so well.
Life is so much more fun if you can just enjoy the simple things. Don’t get me wrong, I surely have my moody moments – but those are the moments that I need someone to come up to me and be a little odd…make me laugh! That’s what we all need daily, isn’t it? Just enough to make
you smile inside…oddness.